Toothy Tremors

I'm sure out of every three people in this world (with teeth) at least two of them would have positively visited a dentist at some point of time in their lives. Ask any kiddo who has had the appalling misfortune to pay a visit to this dental-monster at a very young age to define him, and I'm sure he will say "He's an ooh aah ouch man" - while the rest of us deplorable-souls, would subtly refer to him as the "drill-fill-and-bill guy".

And like most of you, I too have had the opportunity to pay a visit to this dental-magician (let me be a wee bit more congenial!), on many an occasion, who has deftly practised all this tricks on my set of pearls, with great elan. However till date, I have never dreaded a visit to his lair. Reason being, my dentist simply loves to talk. And believe me, its not just idle gossip, but his monologue comprises of a varied range of topics right from the diplomatic ties between Iraq and Syria to unsolicited advice on choosing a perfect match for yourself, if you are in the single-and-ready-to-mingle phase ! All you ever have to do is : Go there, Sit back in that oh-so-comfy chair, and listen open-mouthed, while he drills.... fills...... and TALKS !

Enter his waiting room and the life size wall picture of the Bunny Rabbit, sporting a single-tooth, proudly proclaiming "I love my dentist", will definitely make your lips part into a smile - reminding you, that you possess 32 of them and couldn't possibly be so-optimistic.

The other day, as I settled down into the dental-magicians chair during yet another of my visits, I just realized how fortunate I was to have a dentist whose most effective pain-killer happened to be his non-stop blabber - which perpetually earned him a captive audience, thus making one blissfully ignore the ordeal one is about to undergo.

That day, he was in buoyant spirits - so along with my mouth, I decided to keep my ears wide open. And on he prattled, about inflation, career prospects for the present generation, the pros and cons of the Internet age, and the consequential effects it has on young malleable minds, health foods, good teeth, bad teeth, .....and my buffered memory failed to retain the rest ! By the time, he was finished with his tricks, my head was in a whirl - Was this merely a dentist-next-door or some talk show host on TV in a formidable disguise ?

One look at the bill, told me it was the former - and I had conveniently been taken for a ride on yet another occasion, by his unique painkiller! Now an unprecedented disclosure - Though I hated to admit it, I did feel a trifle wiser as I stepped out of his office. On second thoughts, by any chance did I grow a wisdom tooth while in there ?

So the next time, you visit your dentist, remember to raise your eye-brows indicating, that you're absolutely flabbergasted at his enchanting monologue (even if it is boring!). I assure you, he will definitely be far more gentle, when drilling away at your precious pearls. So relax in the chair, shut your eyes, keep your hearing aids wide open, and say "aaaaah" !

And for those hapless souls, whose dentist is a man-of-few-words, don't be discouraged. There is hope for you too. Just find out how much your dentist earns in a year, and I bet you, that will be enough for you to keep your mouth wide open for the rest of your appointment.

~Tweety

Of birds and bees :)

Yeah.. I know nobody reads these posts. And as you have rightly figured out by now, the catchy title was just to lure you.... ;) So now that you've walked straight into this trap and are still reading, let me not totally disappoint you - The title isnt entirely irrelevant either (I wouldnt resort to such cheap tricks after all, merely to make you read !). However the only thing of relevance is the bees part of it, which refers to yours-truly. Well, let me introduce myself - This is Bee, (yep... the same one, often referred to as the Bumble-Bee), residing in a tiny hive, for the past few months, in a corner, which has not been discovered by the intelligent Muggles so far, in Tweety's office space.

Thought I'd blog about a few of the smart observations, Ive made over the past months, from my vantage point, in my hive! Personally, I think this blogging-business is totally ridiculous. Ive watched Tweety doing it for quite some time now. I distinctly recall, that it started off with a big-bang for her. I mean, I seriously wondered then and still do so now, why would the world and it's aunt, in the first place, be interested in the random ramblings of this unknown creature who answers to the call of ' Tweety' ! Well Tweety didnt think so - Infact she went a step ahead, created this inane blog and bootstrapped herself, by gatecrashing into the blogging arena, with her not-at-all-earth-shattering premier post. The rest is history....

Tweety's blog in my humble (or was that 'bumble' ?) opinion, has turned out to be way below my mediocre expectations. Its talks about anything in general and nothing in particular. It fails to enchant, and simply doesnt have that spark ! On one particular occasion, I nearly fell off my hive, when I dozed off reading about Tweety ranting and raving regarding some mundane sea-food that she had consumed at an equally mundane-place in the city! But Tweety doesnt know, or if she does, then I think she chooses to ignore. Well, I wouldnt really blame her for that though ! Ive read other blogs too. At least all those which flash across Tweety's monitor.

A large quantum of these blogs (in my bumble opinion once again), merely comprise of barmy characters, broadcasting their day-to-day activities to the rest of the world and vice versa. And then there is another equally large set of these barmy creatures who comment on these blogs as well. Regular run-of-the-mill comments, partly in appreciation, and mostly in order to ensure that you visit their own barmy-blog-space and comment in return ;) And so the comment-whirpool commences... You get into it and there's absolutely no way out. Just stop commenting and you magically ensure, that the comment count in your own blog-space goes down (pushing your alter-ego into depths of doldrums), and slowly but surely metamorphosing you into a blog-dinosaur, till one fine day you become extinct !

So finally I decided to take matters in my hands, to stop this bloggin-madness. Tweety had just opened up her blogger-space(yet again), and was about to torture the rest of the world, with her lackluster, wearisome, heart-rending outpourings, when I decided to spare you all the agony (of reading and commenting), by stinging Tweety hard, on her middle and (just as a back up in case my Operation-StingBlogger failed) the little finger of her right hand! So currently, Tweety is out-of-action for a while, nursing, the two swollen itchy fingers, which have conveniently made it a trifle difficult for her to access the keyboard. To the best of my knowledge, Tweety would be away for a while - so you folks might as well go on vacation.. but yeah.. before you do so, as a token of your profound gratitude, for sheltering you from the ultimate agony of having to read Tweety's blog (at least temporarily) do comment on this posting. Its my maiden-one after all and it would mean the world to me :)

~ Bee

P.S. A l'il secret - Ive decided if the comment count goes beyond 20, Id probably start off my own blog, and have thought of a nice and tacky name too (bee-the-best.blogspot.com)

It's better in Goa.....

Ive moved.... Feeling lost in this new blogger home! Still a trifle nostalgic for having abandoned my previous abode ! But plan to stick around here for a while. To ease the move, Ive carried over my last posting with me - so here's my debut on a crispy new blogger interface with a slightly stale posting :)
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Back to pavilion after a 10 day stint in the land of the sushegaad... and still getting the feeling, that I havent had enough of it! This year marks a decade, that Ive been living away from home. And of all the things that Ive learned upon being independent - what has amazed me the most, and continues to do so flawlessly till date, is the reaction I get from blokes around when they are enlightened that I come from Goa! Initially people's reactions were a trifle unnerving - and totally unexpected. It never failed to surprise me, that the world(read as the-rest-of-the-country), would have such meagre or such lop-sided inaccurate views, about this tiny state with its magnanimous coastline. But over the period of years, and after innumerable hilarious moments, (where in Ive stifled many a giggle in my tummy) Ive deigned to conclude, that folks around, can seriously be ill-informed regarding one of their own neighboring states. I generally make a mental note of the varied 'reactions' that I witness, when I inform that Im from Goa, and the comments that follow sure make my day :) As of now, I possess a priceless collection of these comments - and I bet you an arm and a leg, you wont hear many of those - when you inform folks that you're from Mumbai, Pune, Delhi, Kolkata, Chennai, Bangalore and the list goes on !

Just tell anybody you're from Goa... and the initial trailer you get to view, is a look of awe, a glint of envy, and a face painting vivid happy images in front of you. I like this part. Makes me happy too. Never realized that I come from a land, which paints happy-scenes for people, till I actually moved to a place, further up the coastline! And then the comment arrives. "So are you a Christian?" One of the predominently prevailing mis-conceptions - that Goans by default embrace Christianity. And before you get a chance to get this part ironed out, it is immediately followed by - "Do you go and pray in a church just like in the movies ?" (Im a pro at handling this now ;) The others are not so sober. Some cool assumptions about Goans - "So you must be good at swimming ?" or better still "Do you swim in the sea all day when you're in Goa?" (help... Im a terrestrial-mammal with a few aquatic tendencies just like you!!). However, I personally categorize this as the milder version - the inebriated version of which being ... "Is it true that you wear your swimming costume and drink Feni all the time ?" (aww.. come on!!).

One of my favourites though, is "Is Antony Gonsalves really a name in Goa ?" to the absolutely cute "I thought all aunties in Goa were called Mrs. Braganza !!" And this one truly rocks - After you're done informing that you come from Goa, there is pin-drop silence for a moment and then the genuine query pops up "So are you Portuguese ?" (And I thought Goa's been a part of India for more than four decades now !)

Well a decade down the line, when I thought I was done hearing all the possible permutations and combinations of these vagrant, witty Q's - there arrived this 'classic' one, "So you must be great at playing the guitar ?" For sizeable moments after listening to this one, I was still at sea as to why I ought to be great with the guitar-strings, just because the stork dropped me in Goa, and pretty much ashamed of the fact that I hadnt the foggiest how to do so. When I replied in the negative, I was greeted with total surprise, a touch of disdain, and a look of disapproval clearly stating "such-a-shame" - After this totally unprecedented cold-response, I did gather all the courage I could muster, and erred once, by inquiring as to why I ought to be possessing this skill...

"Well.. Remo Fernandes does so... I thought everyone in Goa plays the guitar!" (~sigh~)

~Tweety