Salute To an Unbelievable Human Being

She has always been there and she always will. Centuries of evolution have failed to wipe out her species, and with each generation increases her indispensability as the world gets smarter in science and techonology. The wisecracks claim, that come what may, her position in this world is one that can never get eradicated--and yet one that will never catapult her to the annals of the hall-of-fame! And the wisecracks havent been far from the truth. For since the stone-age, there hasnt been any significant remodelling in her mediocre job profile.

She works an 18 hour shift - wakes up unfailingly to the call of the alarm clock early morning, and embarks on her daily chores. There are no 'Sundays' and public holidays, no Christmas and Diwali break. Infact festival times are the ones, when she gathers the extra ounce of energy she manages to magically produce, and works overtime.

She never fails to make enticing aromas waft from the kitchen, and serves all her culinary delights in shining cutlery - which but adds a silver lining to the perfect dining ambience. She oversees the laundry to .... and with the eye of a hawk, especially on those indelible stains, which are all considered to be a personal 'challenge' for her to get rid off. And lo-behold, when one fine morning, the washing machine decides to take a break - not a soul in the household can get away without a dose of the 'I need that fixed immediately' !!!

She belongs to those, whose bathroom cabinet contains remedies for all times -- right from a bruised knee to the common cold. Besides, she also plays the role of an unauthorized-quack, who has home-made remedies for every little of life's problems.

She vacuums the entire house, with a song on her lips, and gets only a trifle annoyed, when the dog enters with muddy paws, and is compelled to do the job all over again. She is also very particular about neatness, and makes sure that her home is a pleasure to visit for all her guests. She enhances the interiors with fresh flowers every day. Small things in life no doubt, but which do make a difference, especially, when done with love.

She is always there to welcome you at the doorstep, with a smile, when you return home tired and hungry. And her evergreen face, displays a relentless eagerness to get you a hot cup of tea even before you ask for it.

She is perpetually the one to switch off the last light in the evening, and the first one to wake up to the call of the alarm-clock the next morning. Once again starts her 18 hour shift.

She rarely complains and she never gets paid. 'Overtime' aside, there aren't any monetary benefits even for her day to day labour. For that matter, there isn’t much gratitude expressed either, for all her accomplished tasks. And infact she has to very often be the prey to immature tantrums thrown, lest any of her tasks happen to be incomplete. For that matter, no educational institution recognizes her profession and no grades are granted for her superior quality work. She isn’t even entitled for leave and neither can she quit her job. And yet she continues working, and that too uncomplainingly......

I salute her, and I salute her unrecognized profession, because she is one of those, who make our world a better place. I call her a miracle-worker, a blessing in disguise, a fairy godmother and an unbelievable human being. The whole wide world, simply refers to her as: HOUSEWIFE. After all, she has always been there, and she always will !!!

~Tweety

If I had my life to live over again......

I would have played more often and pored less over my books....

I would have climbed more trees and worried less about exam scores....

I would have sailed more paper boats in the rain, than wonder if I would catch a cold in the weather....

I would have enjoyed a few more chocolates, regardless of cavities....

I would not have fretted so much over having to wear glasses in college.....

I would have sent less e-cards and more self made ones.....

I would have painted more empty egg shells ....

I would have been less conscious about having a perfect smile for the camera, and rather been myself....

I would have clicked more black-and-white pictures.....

I would have shared that ridiculous collection of pencil-erasers with my friends instead of jealously guarding it until eternity.....

I would have had more bread dipped in hot-chocolate regardless of the "what-weird taste" looks that people gave me.....

I would have stomped through some more puddles during the monsoon... and crunched a lot more dry foliage during autumn......

I would have gone on more treks...... and thought less about falling down a ravine....

I would have been more receptive when accepting criticism and more thoughtful before giving it...

I would have burst more bubble-wrap!

I would have said more "thank Q"s and "I love you"s and lesser "Sorry"s

I would have sat on more roller coasters and screamed my head off, rather than be watching from the scared-albeit-envious crowd below......

I would have always left my glasses in places where I could find them......

I would have believed in Santa till I was 18 :)

If only I had my life to live over again.........

I would have winked at some good looking hunk ;-) .... just this once !!!

~Tweety

They're back ...

DISCLAIMER: This post could be categorized as anything from a major crib-session, to a probable new case for the undertaking of SPCA ! Its summer time and the Miniature Musketeers are back creating havoc in my peaceful existence.. and now that they have ransacked my chocolate-store, Ive decided not to take this lying down !
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At the onset, let me insist, that, in life, I have always had compassion for God's lesser mortals and visibly smaller creations - but, ANTS ..... relate a different story. If ever there was a creature, I never got along with, then it is the pompous, infamous, agonising ant! Life has never been the same, ever since the Almighty (presumably in one of His not so brighter moments) decided to create these miniature musketeers, and mind you in wondrous colours of black and red. What those blasted colours signify, I do not know, but I guess color-discrimination must be existing at such insignificant levels as well.

Now the question, I ask Him is, "Why create those slimy, sleazy, good-for-nothing characters in the first place ? Haven't we got enough of them already?" And to top it, we are expected to look up to them (awed!!) as hard working, diligent chaps who have never a moment to spare ! Personally, I feel they would mint money if they were to go on stage -- especially with their perpetual put-on of the 'busier-than-thou' attitude !!

Ants have never managed to fascinate me! (I doubt they have managed to fascinate anybody else as well). They just don't seem to be in the possession of that gene which is oh-so-vital, when it comes to impressing folks in their viscinity. The more I stare at them, the more annoying they appear. Besides, they don't bother to display any hint of grace and charm either -- especially when any edible stuff that is capable of increasing your blood sugar, happens to appear in their range of vision - which they devour, with the stomach of an elephant. They happen to have the audacity to bite you as well, lest you try to retrieve your fast disappearing meal!

IMHO the purpose of these unbecoming creatures on planet earth, has never been accurately defined. There have of course been lots of ghoulish theories, but many of the more pleasant ones, happen to be half-baked attempts on behalf of the 'Pro- Ants' society, which is forever under the impression, that decent, peace loving, respectable folks like me will lead to the extinction of this precious species. As if we have the time for such "anti-social" activities... Bah !

I clearly fail to see anything remotely positive about this creature, except for the fact that, despite it's miniature size, it always manages to sufficiently impress you, after it has been on one of it's biting-sprees. Why it bites God-fearing and respectable citizens like me is a different question altogether -- But I strongly believe, that most members belonging to the above mentioned loathsome species seem to have displaced a few of those vital marbles inside their cranium. Hence the reason for those unprecedented bites, even if you happen to be on most amicable terms with them.

I enjoy flicking ants, and by the dozen. ( Hope all S.P.C.A. activists are holidaying in Timbuktu) Infact the more the merrier. I derive as much sadistic pleasure in creating hurdles on their foodie-trails, as they take in troubling me. And it is finally, after years of contemplation, that I have decided to declare open war on these obliging creatures. If you think, I'm talking through my hat, then I must say that you've had either no contact or little to do with these miniature musketeers. Just take an ant, preferably red, (no discrimination intended) under your wing for a few precious minutes, and you will realise that I haven't been making mountains out of ant-hills after all!!

~Tweety

Back To The Future

Another month, another year..... ushered in with the customary brilliance and cheer, that perennially marks the arrival of every new year! And looking back over the past coupla decades, weighing them against the current state of the world, with a lot of nostalgia (the typical drooling over the good-ol'days kinds) and a tinge of narcissism, I think we're the survivors.

First we survived being born to moms, who had never been prescribed a supplementary intake of vitamins and calcium in the form of tablets to be swallowed every morning after breakfast. Neither did they undergo any amniocentesis test, to determine if we were going to be genetically deformed at birth - And well, we arrived, all bouncy and healthy and ready to take on the world if you may please.

After overcoming this primary hurdle in our infancy, we precariously travelled on scooters on our mommy's laps, while daddy expertly manoeuvred through the not-so-dense traffic. We sat in cars that didn't have seat-belts and never felt the need for one. We played in mud and probably consumed some of it too, but no worms grew inside our tummy. We toyed around with plastic bottles and covers that had absolutely no warnings about suffocation on them... and nobody suffocated.

We fell off trees, bikes and walls - and were definitely not rushed to the hospital for a shot of tetanus at every instance. We ate pani-puri and bhel-puri from any roadside stall within our radius. We drank water from taps, water coolers in the vicinity, or shared from anybody's bottle when playing - not just sealed bottled purified mineral water- and mind you nobody died! We played hide-and-seek, cricket, hop-scotch under the hot sun, and created our own exciting adventurous games when things got mundane - and nobody had a stroke. We hadn't even heard of Age of Empires, Counter Strike and Quake. We probably created those during our adventures :) There was only a single channel on TV, and if there was nothing interesting going on (as was usually the case) we simply switched it off, and went out to play.

When we wanted to talk to friends, we went and talked to them. We played, fought, and shared stuff - all the while, having them around us in our proximity. None of us knew what "online" meant and we probably wouldn't have been very impressed either, if anyone had had the foresight to come over and explain it too ! Holidays meant, we were out playing all day, and would show up at home only when the hunger pangs struck - and no-one so much as batted an eyelid to the fact, that they were not able to reach us all day. And we were ok.. believe me, we did just fine.

We never had to memorize a list of 10 digit cell numbers (also written in our diaries stored in our school bags), indicating whom to be contacted in case of an emergency. And we never seemed to have any such emergencies that could not be dealt with, without dialing a 10 digit number.

We ate chocolates, candy and toffees all day long, and nobody gave a damn about blood sugar and diabetes. However when our consumption went a little overboard, the biggest caveat that we ever received was usually to do with cavities !! Yeah.. we survived ! Pizzas never arrived at home upon dialing a number, and we never went out and had a 'make-your-own-salad'. Our mom's made the salads at home.... we merely turned up our noses at the veggies and then just had them! However, when we did eat out, we made sure we ate all kinds of cheesy, oily and spicy stuff - and mind you, we were never over-weight because of it!

Yep, in some sense we're the survivors. We've indeed come a long way. To have been exposed to such peril and undergone such trauma at such a young age, and to have survived. Imagine......... Our grandmothers didnt even know how to google !!!!!

~Tweety