DISCLAIMER: This post could be categorized as anything from a major crib-session, to a probable new case for the undertaking of SPCA ! Its summer time and the Miniature Musketeers are back creating havoc in my peaceful existence.. and now that they have ransacked my chocolate-store, Ive decided not to take this lying down !
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At the onset, let me insist, that, in life, I have always had compassion for God's lesser mortals and visibly smaller creations - but, ANTS ..... relate a different story. If ever there was a creature, I never got along with, then it is the pompous, infamous, agonising ant! Life has never been the same, ever since the Almighty (presumably in one of His not so brighter moments) decided to create these miniature musketeers, and mind you in wondrous colours of black and red. What those blasted colours signify, I do not know, but I guess color-discrimination must be existing at such insignificant levels as well.
Now the question, I ask Him is, "Why create those slimy, sleazy, good-for-nothing characters in the first place ? Haven't we got enough of them already?" And to top it, we are expected to look up to them (awed!!) as hard working, diligent chaps who have never a moment to spare ! Personally, I feel they would mint money if they were to go on stage -- especially with their perpetual put-on of the 'busier-than-thou' attitude !!
Ants have never managed to fascinate me! (I doubt they have managed to fascinate anybody else as well). They just don't seem to be in the possession of that gene which is oh-so-vital, when it comes to impressing folks in their viscinity. The more I stare at them, the more annoying they appear. Besides, they don't bother to display any hint of grace and charm either -- especially when any edible stuff that is capable of increasing your blood sugar, happens to appear in their range of vision - which they devour, with the stomach of an elephant. They happen to have the audacity to bite you as well, lest you try to retrieve your fast disappearing meal!
IMHO the purpose of these unbecoming creatures on planet earth, has never been accurately defined. There have of course been lots of ghoulish theories, but many of the more pleasant ones, happen to be half-baked attempts on behalf of the 'Pro- Ants' society, which is forever under the impression, that decent, peace loving, respectable folks like me will lead to the extinction of this precious species. As if we have the time for such "anti-social" activities... Bah !
I clearly fail to see anything remotely positive about this creature, except for the fact that, despite it's miniature size, it always manages to sufficiently impress you, after it has been on one of it's biting-sprees. Why it bites God-fearing and respectable citizens like me is a different question altogether -- But I strongly believe, that most members belonging to the above mentioned loathsome species seem to have displaced a few of those vital marbles inside their cranium. Hence the reason for those unprecedented bites, even if you happen to be on most amicable terms with them.
I enjoy flicking ants, and by the dozen. ( Hope all S.P.C.A. activists are holidaying in Timbuktu) Infact the more the merrier. I derive as much sadistic pleasure in creating hurdles on their foodie-trails, as they take in troubling me. And it is finally, after years of contemplation, that I have decided to declare open war on these obliging creatures. If you think, I'm talking through my hat, then I must say that you've had either no contact or little to do with these miniature musketeers. Just take an ant, preferably red, (no discrimination intended) under your wing for a few precious minutes, and you will realise that I haven't been making mountains out of ant-hills after all!!
~Tweety
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At the onset, let me insist, that, in life, I have always had compassion for God's lesser mortals and visibly smaller creations - but, ANTS ..... relate a different story. If ever there was a creature, I never got along with, then it is the pompous, infamous, agonising ant! Life has never been the same, ever since the Almighty (presumably in one of His not so brighter moments) decided to create these miniature musketeers, and mind you in wondrous colours of black and red. What those blasted colours signify, I do not know, but I guess color-discrimination must be existing at such insignificant levels as well.
Now the question, I ask Him is, "Why create those slimy, sleazy, good-for-nothing characters in the first place ? Haven't we got enough of them already?" And to top it, we are expected to look up to them (awed!!) as hard working, diligent chaps who have never a moment to spare ! Personally, I feel they would mint money if they were to go on stage -- especially with their perpetual put-on of the 'busier-than-thou' attitude !!
Ants have never managed to fascinate me! (I doubt they have managed to fascinate anybody else as well). They just don't seem to be in the possession of that gene which is oh-so-vital, when it comes to impressing folks in their viscinity. The more I stare at them, the more annoying they appear. Besides, they don't bother to display any hint of grace and charm either -- especially when any edible stuff that is capable of increasing your blood sugar, happens to appear in their range of vision - which they devour, with the stomach of an elephant. They happen to have the audacity to bite you as well, lest you try to retrieve your fast disappearing meal!
IMHO the purpose of these unbecoming creatures on planet earth, has never been accurately defined. There have of course been lots of ghoulish theories, but many of the more pleasant ones, happen to be half-baked attempts on behalf of the 'Pro- Ants' society, which is forever under the impression, that decent, peace loving, respectable folks like me will lead to the extinction of this precious species. As if we have the time for such "anti-social" activities... Bah !
I clearly fail to see anything remotely positive about this creature, except for the fact that, despite it's miniature size, it always manages to sufficiently impress you, after it has been on one of it's biting-sprees. Why it bites God-fearing and respectable citizens like me is a different question altogether -- But I strongly believe, that most members belonging to the above mentioned loathsome species seem to have displaced a few of those vital marbles inside their cranium. Hence the reason for those unprecedented bites, even if you happen to be on most amicable terms with them.
I enjoy flicking ants, and by the dozen. ( Hope all S.P.C.A. activists are holidaying in Timbuktu) Infact the more the merrier. I derive as much sadistic pleasure in creating hurdles on their foodie-trails, as they take in troubling me. And it is finally, after years of contemplation, that I have decided to declare open war on these obliging creatures. If you think, I'm talking through my hat, then I must say that you've had either no contact or little to do with these miniature musketeers. Just take an ant, preferably red, (no discrimination intended) under your wing for a few precious minutes, and you will realise that I haven't been making mountains out of ant-hills after all!!
~Tweety
